How long does it take for an ex to come back?

You know you want your ex back, but you do not know how long it is going to take. Every person is different and, so is their situation.

When you break up with your partner, you may want some time away, to think and process the whole situation. The toughest part is to come out of the depressing breakup phase and think about what to do next.

You might want to move on, but if you want to get back with your ex, there is a lot of work that you need to do before you take a step in that direction.

We first advise that you think through your breakup and understand your feelings. If, after all that, you still want to start over with your ex, then we are here to help you.

We know you are eager to get back together and, you keep wondering how long it takes to get your ex back. But we advise patience. You can’t rush things when other people are also involved.

Many people will assure you that it will take 2-6 months to get your ex back. But we will take a different approach.

We will talk about different kinds of breakups and, the tentative time it can take to get your ex back.

Like we said before, every situation and every person is different, so there is no way we can tell you the exact time, but we will help you understand how long it can take to get your ex back.

So here are the various situations and how long it may take to get your ex back

1. Mutual Breakup

Mutual breakups are amicable and, so is the possibility of getting back together with your ex. If you both feel that breakup was the wrong decision, then you can get back together in no time. The only time that it will take is the time to resolve your issues.

You will have to overcome all the problems before you go ahead, else there will be no use in patching things up. Take one month away from your ex before you think of getting back together.

Take this time to evaluate your emotional state. Are you ready to get back together? Ask yourself that. Do you think your ex will be interested in mutually resolving your issues?

You need to know the answers to all of these questions before you move ahead. Once you have taken some time away after the breakup, talk to your ex. Try to understand their frame of mind. Once you reveal your feelings, consider the time your ex will take to respond.

Don’t put all of your hopes into thinking that your ex will respond immediately. Take at least a few weeks’ time consideration for that as well. And there is always a possibility that your ex might want to move on and not start over with you. Then you will have to consider the time it will take for you to pursue your ex if you don’t want to give up after the first “no.”

So it may take at least two months if the breakup was mutual and amicable and both of you want to get back together. And at least 4 months if you want your ex back but your ex is not sure.

2. When You Dumped Your Ex

You initiated the breakup, but now you want your ex back? This can be a troublesome stage because you are the one who hurt your ex and now you will have to make all the effort to win them back.

But before that, you will need some time to understand what led to the breakup and why you think getting back together is a good idea. Think about why you fell in love with your ex and why you broke up.

Ask yourself why you dumped your ex. Was your ex not nice to you or were you too difficult to deal with? If you want to start over, you will have to be truthful with yourself.

Sometimes, when we are feeling lonely, we make the mistake of thinking that we are missing our ex, but that may not be true.

When you dump your ex, you are suddenly confronted with a void. You have alone time and you don’t know what to do. You may just want the company of someone, not love necessarily.

Don’t confuse loneliness with love.

Take time to hang out with your friends. This will give you an idea of whether you are lonely or still in love with your ex. If you still want to talk to your ex, even after a fun night out with your friends, then surely you miss your ex.

There is another possibility that you miss your ex because you miss the attention and love. If it is just that, then think again. Are you missing your ex or only the attention?

Will you be equally happy if you get the same kind of attention from someone else? You will have to understand your relationship before you think about how long it will take to get your ex back.

Once you have considered all the possibilities, then it can take at least 3 months if you want your ex back and, they want you back too. And 8 months if you both are not sure and taking time to understand your feelings.

A lot will also depend on how well your ex responds to the idea of starting over and working things out.

3. When Your Ex Dumped You

Your ex dumped you, but you want your ex back? That is going to take a lot of work and effort and also time. Before you think about how long it will take to get your ex back, you need to plan a strategy to woo your ex back.

If your ex had some issues with you, then you need to work on them. You have to consider all the time that you will need in the preparation and all the time to attract your ex again.

But before all that, you need to understand why your ex dumped you. Was it your personality? Or you got too comfortable in the relationship and were taking things for granted?

If it was a personality trait, then it will not go away overnight. You will have to figure it out and work on it. If you think you need professional help, then don’t shy away from seeking it. Take time to redefine yourself, not just for your ex, but also yourself.

When we are too comfortable in a relationship, we forget to take care of ourselves and become too lazy. If your ex felt that you are not making any effort for the relationship, then you will have to prove them wrong.

Get a makeover and change your style. Make an effort so that your ex notices all the changes you are making to woo them back. The new you will definitely attract their attention.

You need to understand that this situation will take more time. If you are impatient, then it will not help your cause. Always remember that good things come to those who wait and also who work for it.

Once you understand the whole problem and how to fix it, consider the timeframe that you will need to do it. In this situation, it may take at least 5 months to make your ex notice the effort you are making. It can take less time if you get a favorable response from your ex immediately. Overall, it could take 4 to 8 months to get your ex back.

4. Bitter Breakup

Bitter breakups are the toughest. They can take what seems like an eternity to overcome and resolve the issues and sometimes the success rate is zero.

Bitter breakups happen when something extreme happens. Perhaps your ex cheated on you or fell in love with someone else. If your ex was abusive and obsessive, then that will also result in a bitter breakup.

The question here is, are you ready to forgo everything and makeup with your ex in spite of all the wrong they did to you? Will you be able to lead a happy life like this?

The question here will not be how long will it take your ex to get back, but how long for you both to forgive and forget.

This is exactly why we advise a no contact period of at least a month to sort your head out. Bitter breakups can leave you in turmoil. You need to be at peace with yourself and the situation to understand what was wrong in your relationship and what you can do to make things right.

If you feel that you love your ex too much and want to let go of all the bitter memories, then take the first step and let your ex know.

If your ex also feels that they can work on this relationship, then you may be able to patch things up in no time. Just make sure that the bitterness of the past is not carried forward in your current relationship.

In the case of bitter breakups, it can take 5 to 10 months to get your ex back. But there is a possibility of never being able to get them back if your ex does nothing to make the relationship work. If your ex is not showing any signs of improvement and your relationship is again at crossroads, then it is best to give up and move on.

Conclusion

You can never predict animal nature, but you can predict humans. If you do certain things in the right order, you are bound to get results. Don’t waste your time thinking that you can’t change your ex’s heart. Instead, focus on action.

Actions alone will fetch you results. There is nothing that you can’t achieve if you show perseverance. Sometimes, after you have done everything possible, all you can do is wait. If your actions resonate with your ex, then they will surely come back to you.

If in spite of all your efforts, you don’t hear from your ex, then it is best to move on and find new love. We know it is easier said than done, but you have no power over free will.

So to answer your primary question of how long to get your ex back, we can safely assume that it will take at least 2 to 10 months, depending on your situation.

We hope that we were able to help you. Let us know if you need any more help. Please leave your comments and suggestions below and we will get back to you.

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