To be more dominant, all you gotta do is learn and apply the “dominance indicators”. Show
This article shows you exactly how dominance looks like in real life. Contents
#1. LeadOne of the most obvious signs of social power is, of course, leadership. Here are some real-life examples of leading: 1.2. Move FirstIf there is a group walking, less dominant individuals will look around to see who is going first and who is going to take the lead. Dominant individuals instead don’t look around: they walk first. Look at the character Tony Montana in Scarface. What’s the obvious sign that is a dominant man?
Tony
has never seen Frank, and has never been to his place. Strategic Considerations: Real Life Check: Albeit moving first and having others follow is a way of asserting dominance, I don’t necessarily advise you to make this your default behavior. Great leaders don’t lead for leading’s sake, but they lead with the final goal in mind. So it’s best to first check if
there is someone who’s more knowledgeable than you are, and then organize for that person to co-lead you there. Taking the group down the wrong path because you wanted to look dominant is poor (and less successful) leadership. 1.3. In Dating, Lead the Interaction ForwardThere are many ways in which men can express dominance in dating. One of them, crucial for leading the seduction forward, is to take charge and move the interaction towards intimacy. My advice in this realm is to mix
dominance with warmth. Furthermore, any behavior that cares for and protects the people around is inherently leader-like. A couple of ways of doing it:
Example from the movie Spread:
Real Life Check: There are no cons to protective and caring leadership in a romantic relationship. 1.4. Make Others Follow Your LeadPeople following you is the definition of social power. Any time people follow your lead, you are by definition acting as the leader and as the most powerful individual. Politicians, schooled and instructed by communication experts, play this game quite often. Of course, Trump heavily engages in it.
Note that Macron did it because this was in France, “playing at home”. And Trump did it because he’s Trump and would do the same no matter where he is.
This is also good if you’re the host and you’re welcoming someone. But if you are not yet sure people accept your leadership, proceed with caution or they will resent you. 1.5. Guiding Others: The Good HostDominant men can also be polite. And they politely invite others to “be their guests”. To follow them, to sit down, to enjoy the food, to go through the door first. It looks polite, but it’s also leader-like and it puts them in charge. Here Obama and Putin trying to play host on each other:
Politicians sometimes get locked in “host battles”, telling each other where to sit and go, even when they have no freaking idea. Real Life Check: How to handle “the host”However, there are situations when you do want to avoid submitting. One way of doing it is with “purposeful disobedience”. Please see Power University for the techniques. 1.6. Assign TasksDominant individuals task others. They do it when they have formal authority, of course, but also when lacking formal authority. Dealing With TaskersFirst, ask yourself a diagnostic question: Is he in a position to assign tasks? Most people submit because they never question the tasker and his authority. But as analyzing the tasker and the request becomes more natural to you, discerning between fair requests and unfair requests will also become second nature. Then, challenge and reject all tasks from people who have no authority and/or assign tasks in a curt and non-respectful way. This guy reached out to me to join Toastmasters, a volunteer-based organization of which I was the president: When you draw your boundaries most people realize they were being out of line and will naturally change tack (and respect you more for it). Why did he have no right tasking me like that? This is a beauty. Dominant men can create social tension at will. But sometimes they create that tension without an actual reason, just for the fun of wielding power and seeing you squeak (and to show who’s in charge). A dramatic example of creating tension is the famous “how am I funny” scene in Goodfellas: Tommy, an example of a meathead dominant style, uses intimidatory looks, loud voice, aggressive tonality, pregnant pauses, full-frontal body language. Overall, his social pressure is also an unstated threat of violence. Real Life Check: Social pressure is great, and you can play around with it. 2.3. Silences + Inquisitive LookThe inquisitive look makes others speak and justify themselves without saying a word. Denzel Washington uses this one often, including a few times in the movie Training Days (there is a quiz with that example in the course). The dynamics of who creates tension and who suffers under tension are an important indicator of who is in charge in a relationship.
I hadn’t started with the aim of creating tension, but I had noticed she was putting pressure on herself. So I just added the sideway glance and stern look to see how far she’d go. Real Life Check: This is a very powerful technique that can be used in a friendly
and joking way as well. #3. Speak Less, Use More NonverbalThe law of least effort says: Those who give less and take more are more powerful. And that applies in
communication as well. 3.2. Use More Facial ExpressionsSee an example in the course. 3.3. Dominant Hand GesturesThere is nothing more dominant than directing other people’s behavior without words. Hand gestures can be used either to defend your right of speaking without stopping, or to make someone else speak. Here is a good example from judge Judy:
Asking questions and having people answer is higher power. And making others speak and move without a single word is even more powerful. 3.4. Facial Expression Power Moves Watch out for this one. What’s the difference between dominant and passive-aggressive, then? It’s a sign of dominance when talking directly and openly would be out of place, way too confrontational, or socially inept. Basically, think of it like this: it’s dominant when, in a situation where most people would have done nothing, the socially dominant individual still takes action. Look at De Niro passing nonverbal judgment towards his future son in law:
Verbal disapproval towards her daughter’s fiance’ would have been too much. Task For You: #4. Touch OthersSeveral studies show that people who touch others more are perceived as more dominant. Different ways of touching convey different levels of dominance of course. Touching someone’s face instead is very dominant. Here are some more dominant touches: 4.2. Parenting-Style TouchWhen one individual takes a parent role in a relationship, it often pushes the other party into a “baby” role. And of course, the parent is the role with most social power.
Sheryl Sandberg, the author of Lean In, complains of “patriarchy” in the workplace and shares the story of a congressman who patted her on the head and asked “what are you, a pon-pon girl?”. Here is an example of cheek pinching, which a professor of mine used on a classmate of mine: This one is very good for a man to do to a woman because it places him as the dominant father figure while still showing a caring attitude. Face-touching is also a staple of mafia power moves: The Godfather communicates “I care about you”, but it’s still delivered from a dominant position. This is the pinnacle of “mixing power with warmth“ 4.2. Power HugExample of Mike Epps in “Janky Promoters” As a rule of thumb, avoid this one if you’re older than 20 YO and sober. It’s juvenile and annoying. #5. Aggress, Assert, & PunishThe continuum of aggression is usually understood as going from submission to assertiveness to aggression. Dominant men are rarely on the submissive side, of course. The most socially adroit ones are on the assertion side, but they also know how to cope with aggression and, in the rare cases when it’s needed, they can also cross into aggression. 5.2. Face SlappingFace slapping can be on the warmer side, or they can be more threatening, as if to say “watch out”. In the former, it will be delivered with a smile and in friendliness. In the latter, with a very stern face.
A slap in the face among male adults is very emasculating and it’s one of the biggest of a large disparity in power and dominance. 5.3. Touch or Use People’s PropertyDominant men allow themselves to touch or use other people’s property. Even if done in jest, it sub-communicates that “you’re below me, hence I can touch and use your things”. At the extreme, it sub-communicates that “you belong to me, and so does your stuff”. And the moment you let them take and use your property at will you sub-communicate that you accept the status differential, and submit to them. Beating property invasions: 5.4. Claiming TerritoryMost people have a natural understanding of “personal territory”. But submissive people don’t act on personal space encroachment and fail to draw their boundaries. So defending one’s territory and space is a sign of dominance, confidence, and social power. Here is an example from the movie Boiler Room:
#6. Command AttentionThe more socially dominant individual commands attention. Individuals with great social power are not necessarily flashy -and often they are not-. People also tend to pay more attention when the most socially dominant man speaks. 6.2. The Buck Stops at Dominant menIt’s especially when the going gets tough that the attention naturally turns towards the most dominant individuals. People seek answers, they want wisdom… They want someone to make them feel safe. In these cases, it’s less about physical dominance and more about experience, leadership, competence, and intellectual dominance. Look at this scene from The Godfather:
Of course they pull him back in. This is the “leaders’ burden”: people will look for you. And they will expect you to be there. And it’s also your duty to help. SummaryThe previous article
alpha male body language was more about still poses. Learn More
This is an excerpt from Power University How do I become a dominant man?10 Ways to Be More Dominant. #1. Lead. 1.2. Move First. ... . #2. Exert Social Pressure. 2.2. Social Aggression. ... . #3. Speak Less, Use More Nonverbal. 3.2. Use More Facial Expressions. ... . #4. Touch Others. 4.2. Parenting-Style Touch. ... . #5. Aggress, Assert, & Punish. 5.2. Face Slapping. ... . #6. Command Attention. 6.2. ... . Summary.. How does a dominant male act?Sometimes dominant behavior is aggressive, its apparent intent being to inflict harm on another person, but often dominance is expressed nonaggressively. Sometimes dominant behavior takes the form of antisocial behavior, including rebellion against authority and low breaking.
What is a true dominant male?Dominant males are often leaders in relationships and life. They tend to be the go-getters that have business success. They give off natural confidence that seems to demand attention. You've probably heard about the attraction that women have to the “bad boy.” This is similar.
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