My wife left me with my daughter

A dad who was married to his childhood sweetheart and had four children with her couldn't have been happier with his picture-perfect life. But when his wife went to her work Christmas party, his family changed forever

A dad-of-four whose wife left him for a teenage boy who still lived with his parents has told of his heartbreak after being left as a single dad.

David, who told his story to The Sun anonymously, said his former wife's new partner is 17 years younger than him - something that has caused him immense heartache.

He says that, back in 2017, his life was "story-book perfect" and he was happily married to his childhood sweetheart Daisy.

The pair, who had fallen in love at 18 years old, moved in together at the age of 20 before having their first child at 23 and going on to have three more.

They'd been together for a total of 18 years and married for nearly a decade. While he admits life was stressful running around after four kids, he was "very much in love."

However, David said when he came home from a work trip, his happiness was shattered.

David's wife said she was unhappy in the marriage (

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After taking his wife out for a date night, and sensing something was wrong, he says she told him she loved and fancied him, but wasn't happy in their marriage.

Recalling the hurt of hearing those words, David said: "I had never felt physical pain from an emotional thing like that before."

Daisy explained David wasn't spending enough time with her while he took on other responsibilities including a football coach for their son's team, a governor for the school and a local councillor.

So the next day, desperate to keep his marriage together, David says he gave up all his extra responsibilities.

For the next few months the pair tried to work on things, but one name kept cropping up in conversation with Daisy.

At the time, David says he thought little of it - after all, she was talking about a 19-year-old apprentice in her office.

However, when Daisy went to a Christmas party with work three months later, and said she was staying at a friend's house, David had a bad feeling about it.

He admits he did something he's "not proud of" and checked her location on the Find My iPhone app - and realised she was at a Premier Inn.

When he asked his wife why she was at the hotel, he claims she hung up the phone and didn't answer the rest of his calls.

A few hours later, she called back and confessed she'd gone to the hotel with the apprentice. When she returned the next day, she told him she wanted to be "young and free."

David says he asked his wife to leave there and then and, although he was heartbroken, he began the divorce process.

Meanwhile, Daisy found a new home separate from her new lover - who still lived with his parents at the time.

Overnight, David says he became a single dad and, while he struggled to carry on, he knew there was "no going back."

Although he did his best to move on, David says it was hard to know his wife had chosen a much younger model who was "so inexperienced in life."

"It was quite emasculating. You’re told men get better with age so I thought I should be getting more attractive, not less," he wrote.

Despite the age gap, David's ex and her lover are still together, and he is now around 24 years old - just six years older than their eldest daughter.

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However, he says his ex still deserves to be respected by their kids and so he's never bad-mouthed her in front of them.

David has also started dating again and is now on his way to recovering from the break up.

He said: "This nearly broke me but I’m in a really good place now and making a fresh start. I’m mostly happy."

When a relationship breaks down, and there are children involved, it is not uncommon for one party to be left with the children and unsure what to do next. Some parents may feel anxious that the other parent will reappear unannounced and “reclaim” the children, particularly if it is the Father who has been left to look after them. This fact sheet sets out some of the concerns a newly single parent may have, and what options are available.

Can I look after my children by myself?

The key issue, if you are the Father of your children, is whether you have Parental Responsibility (“PR”) of your children (mothers automatically have PR). If you have PR, you are able to make decisions for your child i.e. medical care, schooling, where they live etc. It is crucial that you have this, if you are to care for your children in the long term. If you are married to the mother of your children at their birth, you will have PR of the children. If you are not married, but were present at the registration of your child’s birth, then you will also have PR.

If you’re not sure whether you have it then you can contact a professional through the Family Law Panel site to discuss it. If you do not have it, you can make an application to the Court for it.

Can my partner take the children away from me?

If you are concerned that your partner may decide to return, and take the children from you despite your being left alone to care for them, you could consider making an application to the Court for Child Arrangements Order to confirm that the children are to live with you. There would be a Court fee of £215 for this application, and you will need to attend Court for a Hearing. Your partner should also be informed of your application unless you are concerned that the children may suffer harm if your partner is notified of your application.

Having this order in place would ensure that your partner could not reappear and challenge your right to look after the children. A Child Arrangements Order can also determine how much time the children can spend with your partner, and whether this would be overnight stays etc. As an aside, if you are successful in obtaining a Child Arrangements Order, you will automatically have Parental Responsibility.

Ideally you can decide these arrangements between you voluntarily, or through mediation, but only a Court Order will be enforceable.

Should I contact anyone?

You should inform your children’s school, and organisers of any after-school activities that the children attend, of the events so that they can keep an eye on your children during school time in case they feel any distress. This will also help in case your partner tries to collect the children from school.

Unless you are concerned about your partner’s welfare, or that of your children because of your partner’s actions, there should be no need to contact the Police or Local Authorities.

If you are feeling overwhelmed with the sudden responsibility of being a single parent, there are charities such as Only Dads and Only Mums that can help you, as well as local support groups through your GP and Citizens Advice Bureau. Please see our further information resources section which provides details of organisations who can offer support.

Watson Thomas Solicitors is an established family law practice with offices in Fleet and Guildford. We offer a Free Initial Consultation, so please contact us if you would like to book an appointment on 01252 622422 or visit www.watson-thomas.co.uk  

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