Starting a business while in a relationship

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In a few months, I'll hit my five-year mark as an entrepreneur running and building Practice Makes Perfect. But one topic that is rarely discussed is dating and maintaining a relationship. It can be extremely difficult for both you and your significant other to maintain a connection when you trying to start a business.

We are a rare breed. Our minds are constantly moving from business function to business function with little to no breaks in between. We treat our companies like our babies and we struggle to decouple our business success and failure from our personal happiness and sadness.

So as I start to reflect on my five-year journey, one thing I wanted to share was how I was able to maintain a meaningful two-year relationship while juggling a company.

Related: 4 Signs a Relationship Is Failing

Here are my five tips:

1. Be upfront about your commitment to your company.

As much as you possibly can, let the other person know what your obligation is, what room there is for flexibility and what you're doing. The more you can share about why you're doing what you're doing and the importance of it, the more forgiving your partner will be when you're stuck putting out the inevitable fires in the office. You need to sell your partner on your vision like you would anyone else that you're hiring.

2. Involve your significant other in your business.

In the earlier days, have the person help you with some of your work (this gets harder as the company gets bigger). The more he or she does, the more invested the person will be. As your company matures, move the person out of actual work and get his or her take on key company decisions.

3. Share your calendar with your significant other.

Like many other entrepreneurs, I follow my calendar fairly religiously. One of my biggest fears when I set out on my own was that I wouldn't have enough work to do or that people wouldn't want to meet with me. Nowadays, I have my calendar booked months in advance. Being super transparent about what you're doing and where you are builds trust. It also saves you from the occasional "where are you" and "what are you doing" questions. The one caveat here is not to assume that your significant other is always checking your calendar. Access to it is not an excuse not to communicate travel and longer periods of absence.

Related: Becoming an Entrepreneur Takes Courage, But Marrying One Is Even Braver

4. Be honest about how long you could check out for.

Taking a break, going on vacations with your significant other and making the person the center of attention is important. But don't set unrealistic expectations.

One of the things I appreciated most was being forced to check out. One of the things I appreciated least was being convinced that I could check out for more than three or four days in the earlier days of my business. Agreeing to something longer sets you up for failure, and your significant other for disappointment. I've found that four and even three days unplugged are more than enough to recharge. If you really love to take breaks, I'd suggest increasing the frequency of the trips you take, instead of the duration of each of them.

5. Make your significant other your number-one priority.

Of all the tips, this is one I wish I did more. It sounds counterintuitive, because you're probably told to always make your business your number-one priority, but if you're with the right person and they're bought in to your vision, they wouldn't ever put you in a position that would jeopardize your business success. The right significant other knows that your success is their success.

Related: Just as Happy Being Single? This Could Be the Reason.

The entrepreneurial journey is not for the faint of heart, that much is already known. But what about those of us who share this ambitious lifestyle with someone else? Building a business is no small feat. Neither is harmoniously intertwining romantic relationships with your goals (especially with a non-entrepreneur). Here are three secrets to managing a relationship while building a business.

1. Communication is King

As the saying goes, “content is king.” While it’s true that the content you create today could be the reason your business grows into an empire later, your relationship doesn’t work the same way, especially if your partner isn’t a part of the entrepreneurial world. There are going to be many things your partner won’t understand – at first. But give them a chance by always keeping an open line of communication.

Implementation: Create weekly/monthly check-ins with your partner where you give them a quick run-down of your short-term and long-term goals. Remember, your partner isn’t a mind reader. While they don’t need to know which email subscriber you’re using to build your email list, letting them know that you’re working on creating an asset that’s important to your business is something they can get behind and support you in.

1. Take Time Off

Look, Gary Vaynerchuk is a major proponent of #TeamNoDaysOff, but even while running a $150-million company he sets aside time every weekend to spend quality time for his wife and children. So what’s your excuse? Taking time off in general is good self-care practice, but stepping away from the computer and putting your phone down so that you’re one hundred percent present with your partner is key to keeping and creating true intimacy. If you truly cannot step away from your business – even for a day – then it’s time to think about and build systems in your business so that it can run smoothly without you having to be there 24/7. Otherwise, what makes it any different than a j-o-b?

Implementation: It’s statistically proven that human are happier when they have something to look forward to, so schedule weekly/monthly “date days/nights.” Of course, this is harder to accomplish with children, but why not create weekly family nights? It could be as simple as actually cooking dinner together. It could be letting the kids choose a movie and just spending that time together. When was the last time you sat down and ate together as a family?

1. Actually Choosing the Right Partner

So many of us are with people who, even after communicating and spending quality time together, still cannot support us. And that’s okay. If your partner is constantly and consistently taking jabs at your dreams and goals, if they are always complaining or negative – no amount of communicating or quality time is going to change them. It’s time to let them go and prosper.

Implementation: Take a moment to sit down and evaluate the pros and cons of your relationship. Do you actually feel supported? Or are you feeling obligated to stay because of certain circumstances (i.e children, financial, etc)? What steps can you take today towards creating freedom from an unsupportive partner? Remember: it’s okay to ask for help. Leaving a long-term relationship, especially when you’ve built entire lives together, is hard. But not impossible.

All in all, communicate constantly with your partner about your goals. Set aside quality time to build intimacy. Actually, make sure we’re with the right partner. All of these are keys to managing a relationship while trying to build a business. When you’re in a healthy, supportive relationship it can make you feel like you can conquer anything – in business and in life.

Shamia Casiano is an Afro-Latina entrepreneurial photographer, designer, gamer, and vampire slayer. She has an extensive background in acting, film, theatre, and improv. Shamia's been featured in Ebony, Cosmopolitan, Grind Pretty magazine, and Marie Forleo's MarieTV. She's married to her handsome nerdy college sweetheart and they have a 6 year-old pup named Lucky, who doubles as her home office assistant.

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