What he thinks when you dont text him

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1. She better be dead. This is a horrible thing to wish upon someone, but admit it, you've thought it when someone didn't text you back. There are only a handful of reasons that excuse you from being a shitty person, and all of them involve personal tragedy. Being dead is a pretty good reason to not shoot back an "lmao" text.

2. Don't send a follow-up text ... don't send a follow-up text ... don't send a follow-up text. This becomes a mantra. You don't want to be that person who just starts trying to stretch the conversation out by sending sparse half-sentences every few hours until your chat history is just a one-sided timestamp graveyard.

3. Maybe she didn't get my text? This is almost as bad as thinking follow-up texts are OK. Resending the same text is also a pretty bad idea. You can do this to a person, like, once a year. That's all you get.

4. Is this a mind game? Maybe she wants to see how I'll react. If this is a test, there is no right answer.

5. Screw this, I'm just going to do whatever. Guys typically have an innate ability to just throw their phone into a corner of the room and forget about it for a few hours. Honestly, if you're playing hard to get, 90 percent of their time is devoted to not thinking about the fact that you didn't text.

6. Oh, I have a text, maybe it's from her. Whenever you're hoping to hear from someone, the alert on your phone is always because of a text from Verizon saying your bill is ready to view online.

7. Maybe I did something wrong? At this point, it's about eight hours since he last heard from you. Now is when doubt starts to creep in.

8. WHAT DID I DO AM I A MONSTER? This won't occur to a guy until right when he's trying to go to bed. Now is the time to analyze every word of that last text and wonder if they fucked up.

9. Should I try calling? No. No one calls anymore unless it's an emergency, and even then, I'm pretty sure most people would Snapchat 911 if that was an option.

10. If she's not responding, then neither am I. And now the relationship falls into a very tenuous place. Maybe you were just busy and you hit him up the next day, and everything is fine. Or it becomes a texting cold war and you both let your soul mate slip away because you were too proud.

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In this article, I’m going to discuss exactly what he thinks when you don’t text him back and how to use this as a way of attracting him to you. 

He thinks that you’re possibly busy, losing interest, bored or ignoring him. This, in turn, makes him want to either chase you or not text you again.

In some cases, he might be concerned or worried about your safety because he’s not used to you not texting him back.

As a man, I can tell you that not getting a text back from you would be frustrating. It might hurt my ego and it might affect my anxiety levels. 

This would be the case if I had a high level of interest in you and wanted to pursue you.

But, I’m also a patient guy so I’d hang back and wait in case you were just busy or something happened that called for your immediate attention.

If I start to get wind that you didn’t reply to my text on purpose, that would concern me.

Most guys in this situation would start to feel some degree of uncertainty and fear which would influence his decision to double text you or call.

When a guy likes you, he wants all of your attention. 

And if he’s accustomed to receiving texts from you that are punctual, this is going to confuse and bother him.

I’m certain of it because I’ve been in this situation myself.

Okay, so, now that you have a rough idea of what he thinks when you don’t text him, let’s discuss each of these thoughts in more detail.

Related post: When he doesn’t contact you during no contact

He thinks you’re busy

If he perceives you to be a high-quality woman with a full life, his first and healthiest train of thought is to assume that you’re busy.

What this tells you about him is that he isn’t necessarily insecure or desperate. 

Most of the time, it’s those feelings and mindsets that project worst case scenario reasoning to a situation.

Because he doesn’t perceive his own value to be high, he’ll project that onto you. So, when you don’t text him back, he assumes that it must be due to his lack of value. 

Related post: 10 Reasons why he doesn’t call you

He thinks you’re losing interest

Another plausible reason why people stop texting someone back is due to a loss of interest. It’s not necessarily personal because you can’t force someone to like you.

One of the very first things to happen when someone loses interest is that they stop being punctual in their replies and they may stop texting back.

This forces most people to consider double or triple texting just to hear back from someone.

At this point, it becomes more clear that this person has lost interest.

Related post: He hasn’t texted me today, should I text him?

He thinks you’re bored

If this is one of the first assumptions he makes, it probably stems from insecurity based on past events. 

Perhaps you haven’t seemed as enthusiastic as you once did and he noticed subtle changes in your text.

The fact that you didn’t text him back just solidifies this assumption he has that you are bored with texting him. 

Related post: How guys text when they like you

He thinks you’re ignoring him

Some people tend to express their anger, irritation or annoyance by opting for silence rather than a fight or argument.

Perhaps he said or did something that has led him to believe that you aren’t texting him back because you’re upset with him.

On the flip side, he could suspect that you’re ghosting him and ignoring his texts is just a symptom of that.

After all, we do live in a time when ghosting has become an increasingly problematic issue with online dating. 

It wouldn’t surprise me if he felt that you’re ignoring his texts as a way of ghosting him. 

Related post: How to know if a guy likes you through text

He considers texting you or waiting for you

After running through the possible reasons for why you didn’t text him back, the next thing he thinks about is what to do about it.

There are two ways in which he may respond to your lack of replies –

1. He texts you again.
2. He waits for you to reply. 

Guys who choose option one will double text or triple text you until they get your attention or start to feel pathetic.

The problem is that they may only stop texting you after they appear to be incredibly desperate. 

The second option is that they choose to wait for our reply. 

Some guys will not risk appearing to be desperate despite feeling that way.

They understand that romantic relationships require a great deal of patience and so they stop themselves from double or triple texting you.

Eventually, he may reach out to you but not after waiting for what seems like a fair period of time. 

Here’s the thing, if you have been chasing after him and he was losing interest, this could be a great way to attract him.

He may have been under the impression that you are totally smitten with him.

So, the thought of you not texting him back never crossed his mind. The fact that you’re breaking out of the habit of chasing him by not texting him back could change that opinion he has of you.

In doing so, it could make him reconsider the status of the romance and influence him to pursue you. 

Just to put it in simple terms, if you made the mistake of turning him off by texting too much or over chasing him, this could be an effective technique to gain back some power in the relationship and actually re-attract him. 

Related post: What does it mean when a guy double texts you

In conclusion

To summarize, what does he think when you don’t text him back? He thinks that you’re possibly busy, losing interest, bored or ignoring him. This, in turn, makes him want to either chase you or not text you again.

I would caution you against ignoring a guy. It is not a healthy way to build a relationship with someone. 

However, there are instances when silence and not texting back can prove to be beneficial to a relationship that has fizzled out because of desperation, insecurity and anger. 

With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this article on what does he think when you don’t text him back. If you’d like for me to answer a specific question, feel free to let me know in the comment section below or check out my services page for email coaching.