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A common complaint, challenge, or symptom of ADHD is ‘Fails to Finish What I Start.’ It’s a feeling I’ve had all my life. So many things never get accomplished. Always a ton on the go, very little finalized. Is this a challenge for you? Stacks of in-completions everywhere, reminders of your inability to follow-through? Maybe it’s not all bad. Maybe there’s a reason some things never get done… In fact, maybe these remnants of abandoned goals offer an insight into what was missing, what actually motivates us to finish things, and what might provide motivation to get it done. Or to finally let it go and move on without regrets. For a full transcript of this video scroll down.
Now if you’re a lot like me you have lots on the go. If you’re really a lot like me you have lots on the go and almost none of it ever gets finished.
This is a dollhouse I started in 1984. Since then we’ve moved 7 times, And I do finish some things this is a painting that I finished back in the 1970s remember the 70s? I don’t, and yet I worked on and finished 700 episodes of radio and television writing acting even producing and directing many episodes.
So how can I finish all these programs and yet stall get stuck… take months to just like to sit down and record this vlog, and if the past is any indication take another 2 months to send it to the editor who will move all of the extraneous stuff like you know… or he may fast-forward through it and edit out all the pieces where I go off on tangents, like that year where I was a ballerina…
The point is lots of things get done, but it seems for every big project or tiny task that I do actually finish a dozen things are left hanging, those in-completions weigh me down they’re reminders of things I haven’t gotten to promises not kept, of great ideas that went nowhere, or simple jobs that somehow remain undone. Boxes and boxes of projects that I started and never finished. I feel like a failure, like I’m never living up to my potential.
Actually I used to feel that, but I have learned in making our video on emotional sensitivity and ADHD that of course feelings come and go, and that people like us with adult ADHD have trouble managing not just focus, paperwork, time ,stuff, but emotions as well. We can be overly sensitive. I started to realize I’m probably not as big a failure as I think. In fact it occurred to me as I was muddling my way through my thoughts that I haven’t really defined what I mean by a failure. I haven’t defined the parameters, the signs, the list of symptoms of a failure. The criteria or criterion… that’s the plural of criteria. Is a plural of cafeteria cafeteriion? and what’s the plural of crisis.. My life! Uh speaking of crisis’s when I was a ballerina on…
Sorry I was in danger of failing to finish what I started. Yes there are many things I have started and never finished. The dollhouse is one of them, but my kids always had clean clothes, food, I read to them every night, drove them to dance classes, well her. Put them through University, and that mattered more to me than a dollhouse or some TV project that went nowhere.
So those things that you started and never finished? Maybe you lost interest, maybe they didn’t matter that much to you, maybe your priorities changed, maybe you’ll get to it one day or maybe you’ll hand it off to someone who would love to have it or finish it or use it. Hey David are you interested in an old dollhouse? It’s about half constructed and… Don it’s Rick, listen I have this old dollhouse here… Sandy it’s Rick green calling. I haven’t even mentioned the dollhouse! Who told you? Don?
Where was I? Right. Many of us with ADHD love new ideas, novelty, what’s next, but as we start the doubts the questions the concerns the challenges start to pop up. Well how’s this going to work exactly? What’s involved? Who will I work with? Do I like the people I’m going to work with? Is it all worth it? and more often than not, perhaps 9 times out of 10 it’s not a great idea, and that’s all it’ll ever be, and maybe that’s okay. Maybe when I see something that’s unfinished rather than feeling it still sitting there I might admit you know what that didn’t really matter enough to me, it didn’t get me going, didn’t get me juiced. It wasn’t for me, and I can let it go or hand it off to someone else. Give it away, throw it out knowing that something new, I now something more important, something more exciting is gonna come along. I’ll think of something, I always do.
We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure. Do you find it difficult to finish what you start? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many people have a bad habit of starting projects but never finishing them. The good news is: With a few tweaks to your habits and routines, you can let go of distractions to focus on completing what you need to finish. Here are 10 tips to finishing what you start if you can’t finish anything. 1. Only take on projects that you really want to doIf we’re not enthusiastic about doing something, then we’re less likely to finish it. You’re more likely to finish something if it sets your soul on fire. You want to avoid doing projects that you don’t enjoy. Now, this isn’t going to apply in all cases. However, there is such a thing as responsibility, and we need to finish some things to be mature and responsible human beings. But what I’m really talking about here is self-improvements projects, hobbies, and activities that don’t necessarily fall into the responsibility category. If you don’t have any reason to learn Spanish, you’re going to struggle to gather the motivation needed to memorize Spanish words. If your project doesn’t speak any passion in you, then you’re less likely to follow through with all the work and practice. Best-selling author Stephen King explains why it’s important to do things for the pure joy of the thing:
2. Use SMART goalsThe problem might not be your willpower but how you’re setting your goals. SMART goals are proven goal-setting techniques that help people achieve their goals. A SMART goal is specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. If you use this structure, you’ll be well on your way to finishing what you start. SMART goals really help you see that a big goal is really a collection of small goals. As James Clear says in his book best-selling book Atomic Habits, all big things come from small beginnings:
For example, The long-term goal of becoming fluent in Spanish is a collection of many smaller goals and habits that you can break down.
Putting all of this into smaller goals provides a structure of how you’re going to improve. A smart goal within the overarching goal of learning Spanish would look something like this: “I want to learn and memorize 50 Spanish words at the end of two weeks. The goal is specific (50 Spanish words), Measurable (either you do memorize those words or you don’t), Achievable (it’s not too much to ask to memorize 50 words in 2 weeks), Relevant (you’re going to eventually need to know 1000s of Spanish words to speak Spanish fluently eventually) and Time-Bound (2 weeks). 3. Create to-do listsI’m a big fan of to-do lists. They help your mind focus on what needs to be done rather than procrastinating about what to do next. Brain memorization expert Jim Kwik explains why a to-do list is so important:
Even the act of setting up your list of things you need to do clears your mind and structures information in your head. It gets you thinking about the tasks that need to be completed. 4. Don’t overstretch yourselfSo many of us try to do too much at once, and then we lose enthusiasm when we don’t complete what we set out to do. It’s important, to be honest with yourself and recognize what you can and can’t do. If you write a to-do list in the morning and include 20 different tasks that need to be done, you will likely not complete them all. As Ryder Carroll says in his book The Bullet Journal Method: Track the Past, Order the Present, Design the Future, there is a difference between being busy and being productive:
You’re not superman or superwoman. So be realistic about your capabilities. Otherwise, you’ll set yourself up for failure, and you’ll lose enthusiasm along the way. This is where planning is important. You’re able to achieve a big goal by completing smaller goals over and over. So make sure you don’t overstretch yourself in a day. What small goal can you complete today that will get you closer to finishing your big goal? Reading 20 pages a day of a book doesn’t sound like much, but that’s 7300 pages over the course of a year, which is about 22 books in a year. 5. Don’t be a perfectionistYou may have heard the saying: “Perfection is the enemy of progress.” This quote is really saying that spending too much time making something perfect gets you stuck from moving onto the next thing. If you want to reach your big goal eventually, you can’t get bogged down by making the small things perfect. You need to move from task to task without procrastinating. You need to be decisive. David Tian, an expert in human behavior, explains why it’s important to get in the habit of being decisive:
This is a big reason people don’t finish tasks because they’re not decisive. They procrastinate because a piece of the puzzle isn’t perfect. Now I’m not saying that you can’t make tweaks and make things better, but you don’t want to do it excessively that it stops you from moving forward. 6. Think outside of the box if you have toNot everything is going to go as planned. Therefore, you need to remain flexible in your problem-solving. Sticking to the script when it’s obviously not working won’t do you any good. If you work out that after a few weeks of reading 10 pages of a book isn’t really helping you become more knowledgeable or successful, then you don’t want to keep reading that same book. Sometimes you need to reflect and assess your own progress. Is what you’re doing really working? Be realistic, and if it isn’t, then you have to change your course of action. You’re not a machine. You have the ability to take a step back and analyze what is working and what isn’t. As Robert Rodriguez said, it’s good not to follow the herd:
7. Reward your progressJust as I said above, not only is it important to take a step back and assess whether you’re on track in achieving your goals, but you also want to reward yourself for small victories. Rewards help keep you motivated to keep achieving your goals. In her book, Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin explains why rewards are important:
So many of us lose enthusiasm when we realize how long it will take to achieve that big goal, so it’s important to pat yourself on the back when you’ve achieved one step (even if there are 100 steps). Rewards help give you a little positive feedback loop that can keep you motivated through challenging times. This is why a plan is important. If you know what you’re doing every day will lead to your big goal, you can reward yourself after achieving a small step every day. For example, you can reward yourself with chocolate after memorizing 10 words in a foreign language. This will keep you motivated, and you know that if you do that every day, you’ll know 3650 words in a foreign language by the end of the year. 8. Take actionWell, you knew this tip had to be part of the list. We can’t finish our goals if we don’t continually take action. And the fact of the matter is this: There will be times when you aren’t motivated, feel tired, and you’d rather do anything else but what needs to be done to achieve your goals. The only way you’ll get through these feelings is if you take action. Sometimes you need to forget about how you’re feeling and take action. Those 10 pages a day are going to be easier some days and harder on other days. But when you eventually achieve your big goal, you’ll be prouder of yourself for the days you read 10 pages when it was more challenging. Taking action while going through challenging times builds resilience and confidence in yourself. As brain expert Jim Kwik says:
9. Remember to take short breaksWhen we’re motivated at the start of the day, we think we can work 8 hours straight and get a heap done. But relying on your willpower isn’t enough. A research study conducted by the Federal Aviation Administration revealed how short breaks between longer working sessions resulted in a 16% improvement in awareness and focus. Research from Peretz Lavie agrees with those findings. They found that 90-minute work sessions followed by short breaks (of no more than 15-20 minutes) match up closely with our natural energy cycles and allows us to maintain better focus. The best bit? It’s easier for your brain to know that a 90-minute work session is followed by a 15-minute break. You’re more likely to get through it. 10. Keep your focusWhen you aren’t focused on one thing, you’ll be distracted by anything. It’s easier to get distracted nowadays since we’re surrounded by content that calls for our attention. The more distracted you become, however, the less progress that you’re going to make The key to being more focused? Focusing on one thing at a time. Don’t try to do multiple projects at once. According to Shane Snow, bestselling author of Smartcuts: How Hackers, Innovators, and Icons Accelerate Success, the most productive and successful people tend to focus intently on a tiny number of things:
And remember, our ability to focus is a muscle. Disciplined people strengthen it by being mindful of their actions and being present in the moment. This enables disciplined people like athletes and artists to get into a state of flow. It’s when time flies and their mind and body are moving almost like it’s doing it on their own — they enter their peak performance. Distractions put them in danger of ruining their flow, which ruins their momentum. Then the mind has to reset and slowly build up to it again, which takes too much energy. That’s why people who complete their goals eliminate distractions as much as possible.
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here. What’s your number one goal at the moment? Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for? To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day? Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in? Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan. And even then…plans fail. But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom… No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set. I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown. Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action. She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life. Click here to find out more about Life Journal. So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message. How much do you want it? Are you willing to put the effort in to get there? If so, check out the workshop here. If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes! All the best, Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. |