How do I comfort my girlfriend while crying?

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Your girlfriend is upset and you're not there to hug her close and stroke her hair. Maybe she's had a bad day at work, is fighting with her best friend or her pet has died. Even though you can't be there in person, you can comfort her over the phone by letting her vent and reassuring her that her feelings are valid.

Be There For Her

Tell your girlfriend that you are there for her and stay on the phone for as long as she needs or wants. Encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings. If she's crying, it may be difficult for her to talk or for you to understand her through her sobs. It's also possible that a lot of raw emotion will be involved and she may not feel like opening up about the details of the situation. If that is the case, be patient and don't pressure her to talk.

Show Her Empathy

It's vital to be understanding when your girlfriend is upset. Show her that you care about her feelings and carefully consider all she has to say, explains Robert Leahy, Ph.D., clinical professor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medical School and author of the HuffingtonPost.com article "What Not to Say When Your Loved One is Upset." Do not minimize your girlfriend's concerns. For example, do not tell her to calm down and that she is overreacting. Listen without judgment and validate her feelings by saying something like, "I can see why you would feel that way."

Listen to Her

Use short, affirmative responses to help keep the conversation flowing and to indicate that you are listening, says John M. Grohol, Psy.D., a psychologist and author of the PsychCentral.com article "Become a Better Listener: Active Listening." For instance, throughout the conversation, say "I see" or "Yes." Listen without interrupting. Have your conversation in a quiet place so you can easily hear your girlfriend without noise and distraction.

Don't Try to Fix It

It's normal for you to want to make your girlfriend's problems go away. However, fight the urge to give unsolicited advice or to tell her what to do. Don't tell her about a similar situation you had and what you did during that time. Providing comfort should be about your girlfriend; don't make it about you, says Janeen Herskovitz, therapist and author of the GoodTherapy.org article "The Art of Comforting: Three Examples of What Not to Do."

Life isn’t always easy neither is love, but when you have a shoulder to lean on, it helps fight through the darkest times with ease. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel right when you find your girl a bit gloomy, and you don’t even know the reason behind that sorrow. Whatever it may be, it is your responsibility to cheer her up.

There are many things you can do to cheer your girl up. Check the list below to find out how to make your girlfriend smile when she’s sad.

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How to Make Your Girlfriend Smile When She’s Sad

1. Talk to her.

A girl will appreciate the time you take to talk to her. It’s a beautiful gesture that shows how much you care for her and eventually will brighten up her gloomy days.

2. Listen and understand her feelings.

When she pours her heart out to you, be a patient listener. Giving her the chance to talk will make her feel better. Also, be a listening ear for her pain and make her feel wanted.

3. Give her a hug.

A hug is a great way to brighten up your girlfriend’s mood. Physical affection can help provide emotional support and may be exactly what she needs. So, as much as possible, comfort her physically.

4. Take her out on a date.

Planning a date for her might be a great way to take away all the blues she’s feeling inside. Take her out for a romantic candlelight dinner or a new place she hasn’t visited yet.

5. Show her positivity.

When everything looks enveloped in darkness, people need the right ray of positivity. As a boyfriend, consider it your responsibility to show her light during her gloomy days. Make her feel the zing of positivity, faith, hope, and strength. Be her pillar of strength and paint the beautiful smile all over her face again.

6. Try some humor.

They say laughter is the best medicine. So, to lift her mood, crack up silly jokes, tell her funny and embarrassing stories, and do anything entertaining that would make her forget all the worries and sadness she feels inside.

7. Give her a small gift.

Give her a small token of love to make her smile. You can buy her favorite food, give her flowers, or leave her sweet notes. Simple things like that will eventually take away all the sorrow she’s going through.

ALSO READ: 20 Best Gift Ideas for Your Girlfriend

8. Cook for her.

If the way to your heart is through your stomach, the way to your mind is also through food. It doesn’t even matter whether it is just a fried egg. Your gesture is what will make her smile instantly.

9. Pamper her.

Pampering has a way of making girls feel better. Treat her to her favorite ice cream, buy her fries, or give her foot a massage. You don’t always need to do fancy things, because girls only need a bit of pampering and she’ll be happy to have a boyfriend like you.

10. Watch her favorite movie together.

This may be tough, but if you really want her to think you care and want to see her smile again, it’s a small sacrifice to make.

11. Do things she likes.

Going out of your way to accompany her to an activity she likes shows that you care more about spending time together. Picking out a new shade of lipstick for her or even hiking through the woods despite being a homebody will bring a smile to her face and remember the future gestures.

12. Travel with her.

Sometimes, it’s really nice to travel away from it all for a while. It’s like giving yourself a mini-vacation. You see new sights and spend quality time together, all within the comfort of an exciting venue.

13. Remind her how much you love her.

When she’s sad or hurt, hug her, hold her hand, and tell her how much you love and care for her. She needs to feel loved and cared for to see that beautiful smile again.

ALSO READ: 16 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved

14. Remind her why she is so great.

In your girlfriend’s weakness moment, be there to remind her of her confidence, strength, and why everyone loves her. Those words alone can take a girl from being sad and will eventually make her smile again.

ALSO READ: 24 Tips to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Special

15. Be there during her downcast.

Show her that no matter what it takes, no matter what she’s going through, and no matter how heavy the burden she feels. You’ll always be there by her side to help her ease the pain and make the burden lighter. Prove to her that you’re not only there for her during happiness, but you’ll also be there when she’s sad. Your presence is enough to make her feel good and make her smile again.

As long as you love your girlfriend, these things shouldn’t be hard for you. Love has a way of melting the toughest hearts and making us go the extra mile to sort out the chaos.

Online courses recommended for you:

• Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
  Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose.
• Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
  This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.

Books recommended for you:

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Gift ideas to comfort your girlfriend:

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Chinese Translation: 让你的女友伤心时，让她微笑的15种方法

ALSO READ:

11 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Smile When He’s Mad at You

16 Ways How Not to Be Sad All the Time

Mitch is a writer and photographer. She also does screenwriting for independent film producers and joins various film competitions. Mitch believes that “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

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