How do you know someone loves you even if they don t say it

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There is no guaranteed way to know if a person truly loves you, but there are a few signs to read in order to figure out what is on the mind of your loved one. If you would like to know if the person you love truly loves you back, then you have to pay attention on how the person acts, what they say, and what they do when you are together. Though love may mean something different[1] to every person, there are many ways to tell if a person truly loves you, just has a crush on you or just being momentarily infatuated with you.

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   See if the person can act naturally around you. Part of being in love means being completely open to the other person. If you find yourself seeing a whole different side that the person doesn't show the public, then that may be love. For instance, if your partner is pretty serious or polite in public, but shows a more goofy and silly side when you're alone, then they are really opening up to you and loves you.

   • If the person shares their deepest emotions with you and is comfortable with it, then that could be love.[2]
   • If the person is comfortable not looking perfect, tripping, or having food stuck in their teeth around you, that means they are okay if you see every side of them.

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   Gauge if the person is happy to be around you. This should be true even during a bad day. If your loved one has had a very bad day but lights up when they see you, then that's a sign of love. If they are in love with you, then the sight of you or the sound of your voice is guaranteed to make them feel better — if only a little bit.

   • The next time they're grumpy or have a bad day, see how they react in your presence.

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   Notice if the person gives you googly eyes. Though this may be silly, check out your loved one's face the next time you see them. Do they look at you in a goofy, watery, silly and adorable way that can only be described as "googly-eyed"? You will know it when you see it. You won't get this look all the time — you can spot it in the morning, or randomly across the dinner table.

   • You may also be able to catch the person staring at you with the same expression.

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   See if the person is giddy around you. Love makes people feel giddy, weightless, and like laughing for no reason at all. If you see the person acting this way in your presence, then this may be love.[3] Does your loved one seem hyper, excited, and on the verge of laughing for almost no reason at all whenever they are around you? If so, then this may be love.

   • If you've said something barely funny and the person cracks up, then they may be lovesick.
   • If the person shows nervous energy or fidgets around a lot around you, then they may just be excited by your presence.[4]

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   Ask yourself if the person is upset when you are. If you are suffering unbelievable emotional pain or are just bummed because you have the flu, then this should rub off on the person who loves you. If they truly love you, then they'll absorb some of your negative emotions and will be very upset because they'll want you to feel better as soon as you can.

   • Though they don't have to be as upset as you are, the person should clearly be affected by your mood because all they want is for you to be happy.

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   Notice if the person talks positively about your future together. If the person really loves you, then the idea of you being in their future is an absolute given, not something that they would ever have anxiety or uncertainty about. If the person routinely talks about what you're going to do in the future, about what your lives will look like one, two, or even ten years in the future together, then they are probably in love with you.[5]

   • True commitment means seeing a forever with another person. If the person talks about the future and always includes you in it, then there is a good chance they truly love you.
   • If the person talks about what your kids will look like, where you will retire together, or where you will go for your honeymoon, then they may really love you.

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   See if the person gives you meaningful compliments. There's a difference between saying, "I like your new haircut" and "You have the ability to make me feel better no matter what." If the person gives you compliments that show that they really appreciate the important aspects of your character and personality, then there's a good chance they really love you.

   • Your loved one doesn't have to shower you with compliments all the time — it's the quality, not the quantity, that makes a difference.

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   Determine if the person means every "I love you". Remember that there is a big difference between "Love ya!" and "I love you." If your special someone really loves you and tells you this much while looking into your eyes, sounding earnest, and not wanting anything from you, then it's likely that they really mean it.

   • If the person undeniably loves you, then they will say it for no reason at all, not just because they need a favor or because it feels like the right thing to say.

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   See if the person really opens up to you. If your loved one really loves you, then they will really open up to you and tell you what they are thinking, feeling, fearing, and longing for. If the person really opens up about their childhood, greatest regrets, most painful moments, or most romantic dreams for the future, then it's likely that they like you because the person is so comfortable telling you about almost everything.[6]

   • If the person tells you, "I've never told anyone this before...", then there's a good chance that they really love and trust you.

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   Expect to be missed when apart. If you and your loved one are apart, but they still text you, call you, or email you to let you know how much they miss you, then it means they can't imagine their life without you. If you go on a three-week vacation and don't hear a word from them, then it may not be love.[7]

   • They don't have to call you constantly to let you know if they miss you.

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   Hope to have your mistakes corrected. If that person truly loves you, then they don't have an idealized picture of you in their mind. If it's truly love, then that person will be comfortable with telling you when you've made a mistake, said something illogical, or acted badly. Though the person shouldn't criticize you all the time, giving you a healthy amount of criticism just means that the person really knows you in and out and accepts your mistakes as well as your best qualities.

   • If the person never argues with you or never criticizes you, then you should be on the look out. Make sure that the person truly loves you instead of an ideal version of who you are.[8]
   • A certain amount of idealization is normal and even healthy since it makes your partner more willing to accept the whole "you" in a positive light. If your partner emphasizes your abilities over your inabilities, it could still be love! It's only when idealization becomes unrealistic that problems arise, e.g., when they pretend that you have positive qualities you don't genuinely possess.[9]

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   See if the person truly values your opinion. If the person truly loves you, then they'll care about what you think — whether it's about their new pair of shoes or the political situation in your country. If they really love you, they'll ask for your advice and opinions, whether it's on big or small matters. They may feel self-conscious about asking for your opinion, but they'll do it because they love you.

   • They don't have to ask for your opinion on everything — only the things that really matter.

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   Hope to be listened to. If the person really loves you, then they'll not only open up to you, but they'll also listen to anything you have to say — even if they've heard it all before. Though they won't be your lapdog, they will be around to hear your thoughts. They will nod and respond thoughtfully and not interrupt instead of switching the subject to something they want to talk about.

   • Part of being in love is just being able to listen. It's not all about being able to talk.

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   See if the person is always there for you. This includes those times when it's inconvenient. Sure, if you want to grab a drink or a tasty meal, the person is always around, but what about when you need a ride from the airport or you need someone to walk your dog while you're sick? If the person truly loves you, then they'll be there for you during the fun times as well as the not-so-fun times.[10]

   • If the person is only around when you're happy, lighthearted, or in a good mood, but flees the scene as soon as you are sad or cranky, then that is not love.
   • Love is about being there for a person, no matter what. Truly loving a person means accepting all the positive and negative qualities of that person, and being around during the good times and the bad.

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   Consider the nice things done for you. If the person truly loves you, then they'll do thoughtful things like put gas in your car when you're busy, do your food shopping for you, or bring you chicken soup when you're home sick. These favors don't have to be constant or over-the-top, but if the person truly loves you, then they'll want to do things to make you smile and to make your life easier.

   • True love isn't just about what you can take from the person, but what you can give as well.
   • If the person really loves you, then they will do nice things for you without you having to ask. It should be implied that you need a favor or help sometimes. If you have to ask for something nice every time, then that may not be true love.

   EXPERT TIP

   Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

   

   Expert Trick: If you want to be romantic back, surprise your partner with gifts they like, or try arranging a surprising romantic event for the two of you.

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   See if the person always wants to be around you. Part of being in love is always wanting to be around the person you love, even if it's impractical. If the person truly loves you, then they will want to be around you — a lot. This doesn't mean the person will want to be attached at the hip, but it does mean that the person will try to take as many opportunities as possible to see you.

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   Let them give you space. If the person truly loves you, then they'll not only want to be around you a lot, but they will also know when to give you space and let you do your own thing. If the person wants to be around you all the time, then that's not love — it's infatuation. As love matures, two people will realize that they still need to do things separate to maintain their own identities.

   • If the person wants to be around you every waking moment, then that may be more of a sign of that person's insecurities than true love.

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   Determine if the person truly understands you. True love is true understanding. Though it sounds lame, the person should really "get" you in order to love you. If the person actually understands your moods, knows what you want and what you don't want, and has an idea of what will make you happy before you may know it yourself, then that may be true love.[11]

   • It's okay if part of you remains mysterious to the person — you don't have to be understood 100%, but you do have to have the sense that the other person truly understands where you're coming from most of the time.

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   See if the person wants the best for you. This should be true even if it isn't the best for them. If a person truly loves you, then they will understand that there are some things that you have to do that may not be the best for them, or may mean that you will be spending some time apart. If they truly love you, then they'll understand that you have to spend a summer on a remote island to pursue your career in marine biology, or that you have to go home early to get enough sleep for a test instead of spending the night with them.

   • If the person only wants what's best for both of you at all times, then they're not really seeing you as a unique individual with your own needs and desires.

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   Look for support. If they really love you, then they won't only be there for the fun times — they'll also be there to help you achieve your goals and move forward in your life. If they truly love you, then they'll be there in the bleachers during your soccer game, they'll be there to see you defend your thesis, and they'll be there to give you a ride to your job interview. And they'll be there whenever you want to talk about something that means a lot to you.

   • If they really love you, then they will support you to achieve your goals or pursue your interests, even if they have nothing to do with them.

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• Once you are attracted to someone, you will notice that they look at you differently and smile a lot when you're around.

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• When some people do not talk with you, it does not mean they don't love you; it could be that they're shy.

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• Be careful not to mistake friendliness for flirting; you could end up getting hurt.

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• That person may try to sacrifice the love between you, if you have expressed lack of interest, possible inconvenience or that you already have a significant other such as a girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse, unless you continually emphasis a commitment to no longer be in another relationship.

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If you want to know if a person truly loves you, pay attention to whether they talk about having a future together with you, like future vacations you might take or what your future children will look like. If they do this, they probably can’t imagine their life without you. You should also pay attention to the type of compliments the person gives you. If they give you meaningful compliments about your character and your personality, they probably love you. For tips on determining if the person means every “I love you,” keep reading!

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