Signs someone sees potential in you

Potential is the possibility of something amazing. To live up to one’s potential is to be open to one’s greatness. Do you believe you have greatness in you? Not sure? Then use these 15 signs to clue you in if you are living up to your potential awesomeness. (Get ready to feel good because I know you got some of this badass-beast-juice in you!)

1. You have a positive outlook.

Most days you walk around with a smile. People like to hang around you because you’re generally an upbeat person. When things upset you, you find a way to see the silver-lining.

2. You focus on solutions.

You don’t dwell on ‘spilled milk.’ You want to fix the problem as soon as possible so you can move on. You know that most situations can be solved with a different perspective and an optimistic attitude.

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3. You pursue your goals.

Your goals help you stay focused and motivated. From small milestones to big ones, every success means something to you. You don’t mind baby steps because you know it all adds up.

4. You don’t mind hard work.

You come in early when you can and leave late when you must. You’re willing to do extra work if need be to get the job done. You take pride in your work and you’re known to be reliable.

5. You keep your promises.

Your word is important to you. When you solemnly swear to someone to do something, you feel strongly motivated to come through.

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6. You are constantly learning.

You immerse yourself in your industry. You take courses to become better. You surround yourself with knowledgeable people so you can learn from them and you’re not afraid to ask for help.

7. You are open to change.

You try to practice acceptance and feel that if it doesn’t go your way — it wasn’t meant to be and you’re OK with that. You believe that things happen for a reason and good things are coming for you.

8. You deal with stress well.

Staying balanced is important to you so you may have a mindful practice like meditating, prayer, or journaling. Whatever you do, having peace of mind is essential to your way of life. You’re not a stranger to self-help or motivational books.

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9. You eat healthy.

You’re all about eating right because it supports your healthy lifestyle. You’re on the go a lot so you try and stay naturally energized by eat quality foods.

10. You stay in shape.

You work out because it helps with stress relief and the balance you crave. After a session at the gym, you think more clearly. You may hike or do outdoor activities because getting outside the office is part of your healthy outlook.

11. You dress for success.

You’ve taken to heart the saying, ‘Dress for the job you want.’ You want to be ready just in case a big opportunity knocks on your door. You dress in a way that showcases your professionalism and personal style.

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12. You keep healthy relationships.

Your relationships are important to you. You make an effort to stay close with friends and family because it keeps you grounded. It’s not all about the grind for you because you believe – if you don’t have love, you don’t have much.

13. You have fun.

Life is full for you. Along with work and spending time with your family, you do fun stuff that makes you feel good. You instinctively subscribe to that saying, ‘All work and no play makes you dull and depressed.’ (Or something like that…)

14. You are grateful and humble.

You find many things to be blessings. You practice gratitude and show your appreciation wholeheartedly. You may not know how good you really are, but you know you got something to offer!

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15. You have a life motto.

You have a driving force that makes you want to succeed in life. It can be as simple as the words of Nike – Just Do It. It may be moving like Jack Kerouac’s quote ‘Be in love with your life, every detail of it.’ Whether your motto is profound or prosaic, it gets your fire burning and has you living out your undeniable potential. (You got this!)

Featured photo credit: Malte Helmhold via unsplash.com

When you live in the future, and ignore the present

I once fell in love with this guy. He was amazing. He knew all the names of the constellations in the sky. He could recite the Desiderata. He loved to read books, and knew a lot about science. I thought he was on the path to becoming a doctor someday or a college professor. Unfortunately, I fell madly in love with — an alcoholic.

Yet, I continued to see him, and when he came home drunk and stumbled in the door, I overlooked it. He never did become a college professor. And he never chose to do the work of getting into recovery.

I saw all the good in him and put blinders on to all the bad. What I received daily was a stressful, unpleasant reality. That’s what happens when you fall in love with potential.

In a 2019 article, “Falling in Love With Potential,” Dr. Kai Swigart says, “Most relationship problems start when we fall in love with what someone could be, sometime in the future — instead of who they are right now, and then strive to turn them into this potential person.”

Here are 6 signs you’re in love with their potential.

You think they’re smart, even if they don’t believe it.

You think your partner is the smartest person you’ve ever met. You believe this even though they had average scores in school, and had no desire to go to college. You think they should be a doctor or lawyer or engineer. Yet they are currently working at a family business, and have no desire to go to college. They love their job, and they don’t see themselves changing any time soon.

Or your partner may have had excellent test scores in school, and is intelligent enough to be a rocket scientist, yet they put themselves down and never have the confidence to pursue it. You encourage them a lot, and they completely ignore you. They are content the way they are.

You still hope they’re going to pursue this path you have imagined for them.

You think they’re the most talented, misunderstood person you’ve ever known.

You know your partner sings as well as Adele and should be on the radio. First, you purchase them singing lessons. Next, you buy them studio time. Before long you’ll have them recording videos to share on Facebook. Yet your partner never tries for anything themselves. They don’t have the confidence to go after that career, or they’re simply not interested.

You are devastated because you have this dream for them that they are not pursuing.

You ignore little red flags that consistently pop up.

Your partner comes home reeking of beer. His eyes are glassy and he’s stumbling around, but you choose to ignore it. You deny the reality that he earns great money, but spends it all on parties and cigarettes.

He mentioned he was pulled over, and you try to forget it. Or you block out the night he screamed at you and called you horrific names.

You find yourself acting like a Pollyanna and ignoring all the red flags that things aren’t right with the two of you. In your mind, things must be perfect, when it’s obvious they’re not. You are gaslighting yourself.

You make excuses for them.

You choose to ignore that she forgot your birthday again, and keep enabling her bad behavior by never making her accountable for anything.

Every day, you clean up after her messes and tell yourself she’s just too busy to help.

If she doesn't get up for work, you’re the one who calls her out.

When your friends and family notice the bad behavior, you make excuses why it’s okay.

Why do you do these things? You know deep down she has the potential to be a better person.

You always see the good in them.

The person you love can be mean and lazy, but you choose only to see the good in them. You know they’ve had it tough, and you think if you give them enough love, you will heal them.

This person could be dishonest and cheating, but you will overlook the bad and focus on their good qualities. You only see their potential.

You keep living in someday and not the present.

When you see potential in others, you’re always living in the future, not the present. You’re not looking at the reality in front of you. You’re always talking about that “someday” in the future where your partner will live up to your expectations and be that wonderful, successful partner you dream of.

You will ignore all the problems in the present and love this future vision — not the real person in front of you. If you do this, you are in essence, living in a fantasy.

Potential doesn’t work.

If you’re living in the future, you will never get to know the real person in front of you with all their flaws. You aren’t in love with this person, you are really in love with their potential. And the sad news is, people rarely live up to your version of who they should be. Therefore there will be a lot of disappointment in your relationship.

It puts a lot of pressure on your partner to live up to this idealized version of themselves that was created in your fantasy. They’ll get tired of being pushed by you to be someone else, and they won’t feel loved for themselves.

When I still think of that man I loved long ago, I’m sad that he didn’t live up to his potential. He had all the qualities he needed to be successful, but his addiction proved stronger than his love for himself.

I could never make him see his potential — he had to see it for himself.

Life is about the present moment.

The person before you is the person you’re getting. If they have addiction issues, you can’t change that — they have to. If they cheat people, that’s their way. If they are lazy or unambitious, they are showing you their true self.

If they are loving and reliable, that’s the real person you chose.

They are not their future potential. What you see now, is what you get.

How do you know if a guy sees a future with you?

How do you know someone is special?