What does it mean when you have the same dream twice about someone

Of all the dreams humans may experience in deep sleep, a recurring dream may feel the most mysterious — and in some cases, the most terrifying. Dreams can vary greatly from person to person; the American Sleep Association notes that people, on average, experience three to five dreams every night, usually lasting between 20 and 30 minutes in length. Because dreams tend to form when humans are in their deepest sleep (a.k.a REM sleep, when your brain recharges overnight!), it is not uncommon to have sweet, pleasant dreams right before confusing ones or even scary nightmares. But if you're one of the many people who dream about the same scenes on a monthly, weekly or even a nightly basis, you're not alone — in fact, psychologists and sleep specialists troubleshoot these chronic dreams quite frequently.

Recurring dreams may be pleasant in nature, particularly as the percentage of both men and women reporting frequent dreams involving romantic and sexual overtones has increased in recent history, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. More often than not, though, those who experience recurring dreams are left bewildered or entirely terrified by the sequence of events, wondering why exactly they are left experiencing the same dream on loop. As much as 75% of recurring dreams may be negative in nature, per a teen survey published in a 2015 study, and often revolve around painful sensations like tooth loss or traumatic events like car crashes.

"Recurrent nightmares are most often due to unresolved anxiety or trauma that has not been fully processed by our brain," says Annie Miller, LCSW-C, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sleep treatments at her Washington, D.C.-based practice. "There are indeed typical themes that show up in these recurrent dreams, especially recurrent nightmares. For instance, feelings of powerlessness, lack of safety, trust and shame are common themes in recurrent nightmares."

These loopy dejá vu dreams can be spurned as side effects of general anxiety for sure, and could be fleeting; or, they may be long-carried remnants of trauma experienced early in your life. If you're one of the many people who are hunting for some meaning to your own recurring dream, we've assembled a panel of sleep experts to answer top questions about cyclical dreams and nightmares below.

What does a recurring dream symbolize?

Sadly, science hasn't allowed sleep specialists to nail down just one cause of a recurring dream or nightmare — as no two frequent dreams feel the same. Alex Dimitriu, M.D., psychiatrist, sleep medicine specialist and founder of California-based Menlo Park Psychiatry & Sleep Medicine, explains that the root cause of a recurrent dream hinges on the dream's content entirely. "There's some chance the unconscious mind may be surfacing content in recurrent dreams, so it helps to try to analyze," explains Dr. Dimitriu, adding that sleep medicine specialists often work with patients on demystifying and (hopefully) ceasing troublesome recurrent dreams.

If a recurrent dream is negative enough that you are dwelling on it while you are awake, sleep specialists have a better idea of what's commonly causing you to experience these night terrors. Julia Kogan, PsyD, a psychologist providing sleep and cognitive behavioral therapy and an insomnia specialist within the Department of Veterans Affairs, says these three mental health conditions often drive recurrent dreams:

• Chronic stress, which may cause periodic bouts of recurrent dreams
• Clinical anxiety, which often contributes to recurrent dreams over a lifetime
• Depression, which may lead to both factors
• Unresolved issues or conflict

These persistent dreams often occur during our REM sleep cycle, which has long been linked to our body and brain's emotional processing and memory production — unresolved issues and emotional distress are thus usually processed during this time in the form of a recurrent dream.

"If we do not well with emotional distress or problems in our lives, we are likely to process these things while sleeping, which can result in various types of recurrent dreams," says Kogan, explaining that previous research indicates that up to 65% of dreams may be associated with things that happen when people are awake. "A majority of recurring dreams tend to have themes related to fear, anxiety, anger, guilt, and other difficult emotions."

What are the most common recurring dreams?

As you'd expect, most recurrent dreams are emotional. "The belief is that the brain is simulating these experiences at night to both rehearse and be better prepared for these events," Dr. Dimitriu tells Good Housekeeping. "Embarrassing dreams are common as well, the classic being naked or otherwise exposed in front of a room of strangers."

Most often, Miller says people replay their trauma or fears in these replaying dreams over and over again. "Often, clients discuss feelings of helplessness, and that shows up as being unable to be heard, communicate, or fight back." And because so many people have these emotions, experts have been able to identify these exceedingly common recurring dreams:

1. Falling endlessly
2. Being chased or attacked and being unable to defend yourself
3. Reverting back to school, often decades after graduation
4. Being unprepared for an important event, or not having studied for a test
5. Flying uncontrollably
6. Arriving late for a crucial life event or appointment
7. Being stuck in an inescapable location
8. Losing control of a car
9. Losing teeth

There is a slew of surveys and studies linking these recurring nightmares to frequent case reports and treatment plans across the country, but Kogan adds that new and recent research is still needed to gain a better picture of what haunts Americans' dreams most frequently (especially since some data comes from children's stress-related observation).

Regardless of which recurring dream you're experiencing, Dr. Dimitriu advises not to entirely ignore or dismiss them if they've been plaguing you for years. "Some recurring dreams are worthy of more attention [and therapy]," he says. "People with unresolved trauma that should be treated will experience an event in their nightmares, and people with sleep apnea may commonly dream of suffocating or drowning, when in reality, they cannot breathe."

We're not shocked to hear that recurrent dreams are more common in women than in men, according to Miller's testimony and a 2016 survey conducted by Amerisleep. But an underreported amount of individuals living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often endure recurrent dreams without realizing the two issues are linked.

What does a loop dream mean?

A special subset of recurrent dreams, a dream loop may literally feel like you are repeating the same actions or sequence of events over and over again — which can be made more complicated by what's known as sleep paralysis for some. Experts at the Cleveland Clinic indicate that sleep paralysis occurs when your brain relaxes muscles in legs and arms during REM sleep, but you've simultaneously regained awareness, meaning you can't move or speak. This often can be a post-cursor to dream loops where you've consciously become aware that you are dreaming and try to wake up.

Looping dreams can be quite indicative of PTSD, according to Kogan. "This often involves replaying the trauma in various ways, or different situations in which the person is distressed with similar emotions they experienced during the trauma, but in a different storyline," she explains.

How do I stop recurring dreams?

Since it's quite possible to spend years in therapy working out how to quit unwanted dreams, try ruling out any medical conditions first — issues like untreated sleep apnea and narcolepsy, which can be addressed with antidepressants or hypertensive medications, Kogan explains.

On your own, you can work to stop recurring dreams by focusing on your sleep hygiene; practicing best habits and trying to step away from any upsetting content prior to bed. "Using substances can negatively impact sleep and increase dream activity," she adds.

If you already know you're being impacted by temporary stress, it's important to work on relieving symptoms before addressing a dream itself. "Since dream content is often related to unresolved issues, anxiety, stress, and grief, it is important to manage stress and mood on a regular basis," Kogan explains. "This can include doing active things for stress relief such as deep breathing, muscle relaxation, journaling, exercise, and processing difficult situations."

Lifestyle changes aside, working with a sleep medicine specialist or a related healthcare provider to address harmful recurrent dreams often includes one of the following:

• Dream Rehearsal Therapy (DRT): "This approach involves replaying and then re-writing the end of the unwanted dream," Dr. Dimitriu says. "People are asked to replay the unwanted dream, write it, and imagine it. Then, they change the ending, and write or imagine the new ending repeatedly in session, and ideally again before bedtime."
• Exposure, Relaxation, and Rescripting Therapy (EERT): "This option involves rewriting the nightmare as well but adds elements of relaxation in the process," Miller says. "Both of these therapies [EERT and DRT] are clinically proven to be effective."
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Often used for those suffering from insomnia and nightmares, Kogan says CBT is "an evidence-based approach shown to improve sleep and decrease nightmares."
• Prolonged Exposure Therapy: "Those with PTSD can benefit from seeking evidence-based treatment such as cognitive processing therapy or prolonged exposure therapy," Kogan says, which involves individuals working to gradually approach trauma-related memories or situations.

Zee Krstic is a health editor for Good Housekeeping, where he covers health and nutrition news, decodes diet and fitness trends and reviews the best products in the wellness aisle. Prior to joining GH in 2019, Zee fostered a nutrition background as an editor at Cooking Light and is continually developing his grasp of holistic health through collaboration with leading academic experts and clinical care providers. He has written about food and dining for Time, among other publications.

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